I haven’t been writing regular posts in a while. I’ve been praying about whether to renew my Little Potted Plant account, whether I really had anything to say that anyone would want to read. But I think that’s part of the process I’m in with the Lord right now. I’m still in transition from moving away from my family and, in some sense, have been going through a grieving process as the reality of it has settled in over the past few months.
When I first began this blog almost two years ago after my sweet mother’s death, I said I wanted to “just be real.” My purpose was to discover who God created me to be. And I think I started to make my posts a little “preachy,” as though I needed to teach a point with each post instead of just sharing my heart.
So now I want to try again. I just want to share, hoping that somehow what I write will touch someone else who needs to know they are not alone in how they feel. And as always, I want to invite others to find the answers in our very faithful God. So here goes! Thank you for being here with me.
March 24, 2015
I went for a walk after dinner with Mark and Chloe, our little bichon frise. There was a cool breeze, the grass was green, birds were singing–spring at last, and with it the sheer joy of being alive with all of my senses heightened. Thank you, Jesus! But if that wasn’t enough, we came home to a magnificent sunset visible out our back windows. Contentment.
There was a time I was focused on making my home beautiful–nothing wrong with that. It’s part of being a woman, and it’s important. But now my eyes are being opened to see God’s beauty. While once the paint colors on my walls were a primary focus until I got them just right, now the colors of the sunset are what capture my attention.
A few short years ago, I became fascinated with the subject of simplicity. I read books, did a group Bible study from a book entitled “Abundant Simplicity,” and started following a couple of Christian blogs on minimalism. I never knew back then that I would be whisked away from Arkansas to Texas, from a roughly 2000-foot, well-appointed home to a little duplex with carpet and white linoleum that is reminiscent of my earlier homes “back in the day.”
But the Lord knew. And more personally, the Lord knows me. Yes, his plan was to move us to Texas to establish our ministry. But he also cares about the personal details. He knows what my heart needs, and he is so generous. He knew I would be captivated by shade trees and sunsets and a park right beside us to walk and time to think and to just…..breathe. It is a place where distractions are few, and my eyes can gaze on what I need most. And what I need most is Jesus.
Sometimes the Lord’s plan seems so painful, like moving me away from five, almost six now, grandbabies. But that’s where trust comes in. He created me for himself, just as he created you. And I know that whatever that looks like, it will be the best, for he promises to work all things for good. I can’t see all the changes that are surely happening inside of me as he draws me closer, but I know that he is doing something in me that needed to be done in this place. I know the process is not over, nor will it ever be completed on this earth. But I am a little closer.
Thank you, Jesus, for giving me the grace to say yes and the courage to follow you. Thank you that you have a plan for our children and grandchildren as well, a plan that is unique to each of them. I pray for them and for all who may read this post, that they will know you and understand that you are concerned about every detail of their lives. I pray that we will continually say yes to you, so that we will truly live. Amen.